Sensei's! What to do when
by IvoryWhiskers
Summary: In the beginning, the execellent Jounin Sensei's and their future legendary students, never had it easy...in fact, most would describe their job as more like 'babysitting' than anything else... Rated for language
1. when first meeting your students

**Sensei's! What to do when…**

Disclaimer: Not mine blah blah blah

A/N: Rather insane Fic about sensei's and their students

Starting off with a not-so-amusing chapter about when they all first met Will hopefully get better chapters up with more interested and funny occurrences later.

Just to let you know, I've named the Yondaime 'Akira', because…well I'm not sure, but he needs a name and I thought I'd try something different….I'd like to think he's an Uzumaki, but…well I'm just gonna leave that out

Also, as we don't know the names of (the newly named) Akira's teammates, then I deem that they shall be; Uchiha Miyako (girl) and Kenji (boy) as for his surname…Erghhhh getting decent Japanese names is taxing enough, I don't feel confident enough to make up a surname.

* * *

**Sensei's! What to do when…**

…You are meeting your subordinates for the first time

**Sarutobi's way**

Sarutobi traipsed down the corridor of the Academy, unsure exactly what to expect.

Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru, the three he would be working with. He had been told that they were all smart, but whereas the Orochimaru kid was supposedly a dedicated genius who would pick things up quickly and easily, Jiraiya – although smart – he had been told would be hard to work with. That was also speaking generally as apparently both he and the Tsunade girl apparently had very short attention spans and although eager to learn; they weren't likely to focus for too long during explanations.

Not to mention their as-of-now former Academy sensei had laughed and told him that the three of them all had 'rather overwhelming' personalities. And that had not been said in a way that implied any of them would be easy to deal with at all.

So, upon arriving outside the door of his destination, Sarutobi straightened his forehead protector and took a deep breath before sliding the door aside and stepping inside.

He stopped short, staring.

The two sat at the table were currently unaware of his presence, but the black-haired boy with corpse white skin who leant on the wall by the door, sighed and shook his head. Without even looking at Sarutobi he nodded at the table where – who Sarutobi assumed was Tsunade – and a spiky, snow-haired kid were sat. He looking very pissed off and sat in his boxers, she looking gleeful and sat in her under shirt, holding a hand out towards him and demanding that he 'pay up'.

The boy scowled, but threw his wallet to at her all the same before sulkily sweeping the scattered cards on the table off the edge and onto the floor.

"Tsunade likes to gamble," the raven-haired boy began coolly, "and proposed a game of poker whilst we waited for you. But Jiraiya is a pervert, hence the strip poker."

Sarutobi sighed. Well, their former sensei had not being kidding when he said they'd be a handful. "Right…then, you must be Orochimaru?" he said, addressing the pale boy as Tsunade skipped over, counting the money she had just won while Jiraiya began to dress.

Orochimaru nodded, but Sarutobi's attention was soon focussed elsewhere as Tsunade let out a happy shriek, "Hell yes! Drinks are on me!" she declared, "Sensei," she said politely, bowing her head as she stalked past him and right out the door, a messily dressed Jiraiya following, only pausing to bow briefly as he passed Sarutobi, "I'll take you up on that!" he yelled, sprinting down the corridor after her.

Sarutobi found himself listening in a mixture of shock and bewilderment to the two's fading conversation as they ran down the corridor.

"Shove off, no way was I serious!"

"I know you know exactly where you can buy sake!"

"Yeah but what makes you think I'm buying _you_ any?!"

"Oi! That's _my_ money, don't be mean, you flat-chested bitch!"

Orochimaru sighed again, ignoring the shrieks that followed Jiraiya's insult; "Tsunade is also an up and coming alcoholic." He pushed himself back up from the wall, moving towards the door. "I'll tell them to meet you at 6am in training ground 7." He said, sliding the door shut behind him.

Sarutobi simply stared at the closed door, trying to comprehend what had just happened…he had walked in and found two of his new students playing strip poker…they had proceeded to barely even acknowledge him before walking out to go and buy _sake_…sake! They were what, 10 years old? 12 at a push…and then the other one…that little brat had actually just taken complete control, informed him of where he was going to meet them tomorrow for training and at what time before leaving also.

Great. A dominating brat, a perverted idiot and a gambling alcoholic. Hell, those were pretty big personalities for such young kids.

Sarutobi flopped into a chair. Right, this called for a seriously hard and hopefully humiliating training task to be constructed, to be executed tomorrow.

**Jiraiya's way**

Jiraiya was not in the best of moods. He was tired, hung over, and was now expected to go and sort some form of training or something for a group of bratty little kids.

What was it their former-sensei had said? '_They all have great potential but, depending, need someone who can give each of them the right motivation in the right way. They'll all need working on individually, no matter how the two loud mouths appear, look beneath the surface for what's really there_'.

Akira, Miyako and Kenji - two loud pranksters and a cripplingly shy boy.

Stomping somewhat sulkily down the corridor Jiraiya wrenched the sliding door back, getting a brief glimpse of his new brats faces before water sloshed down on his head, followed by a bucket.

He heard them burst into hysterical laughter, or, two of them at least. What a lovely start.

"…Let's get one thing straight, I HATE you little bastards." Jiraiya growled from inside the bucket, his voice echoing and he heard his students laughter increase.

When he pulled the bucket from his head and let it fall to the floor he saw that only one of his new students was making any effort to cease laughing, albeit unsuccessfully.

He studied each one for a few moments, building quick character profiles on them based on their stance, expression and just how hard they were laughing at him.

A bratty looking blonde kid with a devilish grin, whose warm eyes scrunched shut at the action. His stance was relaxed and his hands supporting the back of his head as he snickered openly at Jiraiya.

A bold looking tom-boyish girl who could only be an Uchiha brat, a cocky smirk plastered on her face and a relaxed stance too, she stood with one hand on her hip and with her weight all on the left leg.

And finally a timid looking kid, who stopped giggling the second Jiraiya's eyes stopped on him, and started looking worried, avoiding all eye contact and taking up a very self-conscious stance, hunching his shoulders and hugging himself.

Right, so, Blonde Brat, Cocky Brat and Timid Brat…Well, they'd be interesting to work with to say the least.

However, there was no way they were going to get away with that. But still, he decided that he'd settle for simply speaking to them in a degrading manner for now until he could execute revenge tomorrow during training.

"Right," he began, pointing at himself, "I'm Jiraiya," he said, and they supposed this was his introduction, "And I am not interested in your names nor-"

It was at this point that the blonde-brat decided to interrupt. "Hey, Jiraiya-sensei, I think-"

"Shut it Blondie." Jiraiya snapped, silencing him.

"Oi, are you telling us you're just going to make names up for us?" Miyako asked angrily before Jiraiya had a chance to continue.

"Yup. Problem with that, tomboy?"

Miyako glared, ""Damn right. I'm-"

"Well I don't care, you can shut it too, Tom." He ordered, a smirk twitching at the corners of his mouth. He was beginning to enjoy himself.

Miyako glared, fuming in silence and grudgingly accepting for now that she was most likely going to be called 'Tom' (Short for Tomboy) by Jiraiya.

Jiraiya smirked satisfactorily, turning to the shy kid who stood away from the other two, both of whom between them had more than enough personality to make up a third team member.

Kenji looked so terrified that Jiraiya couldn't help but soften his expression, deciding that this poor little kid couldn't possibly have been in on the bucket prank, "Hey kid, what's your name?" he asked ignoring the outbursts from 'Blondie' and 'Tom' behind him.

"Kenji…" he mumbled, even more scared that Jiraiya was being nice to him but blatantly not so with the other two, "I…um…sorry for the bucket thing, Sensei, I didn't mean to…" he lapsed into silence, shuffling his feet nervously.

Jiraiya quirked an eyebrow, so he _was_ in on the prank? Heh, who'd have thought? "Well then, Blondie, Kenji, Tom, meet me tomorrow at 6am sharp by the woman's bathhouse."

And with that he simply stalked out, leaving his baffled new subordinates staring after him, oblivious to the smile creeping onto his face. Though unfortunately for them, he was not so oblivious to the "Ero-sensei" Blondie muttered after him.

**Akira's way**

Akira burst through the Academy's double entrance doors, bolting down the corridor to the left. He was late. Really late.

He swore under his breath, picking up his pace a little and tugging his coat back up over his shoulder where it had slipped down. Skidding to a halt outside the door of his destination he stuffed the piece of buttered toast he had been attempting to wolf down while running into his mouth and straightened his clothes, trying desperately to remember the information he had been given on his new students.

He would be training…a five year old and two six year olds if he remembered correctly, one seven in a week's time. Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito and something-or-other Rin… Well, Hatake and Uchiha…those names alone told Akira that he would be working with two geniuses. And the Rin kid was meant to be pretty smart too, already trained somewhat as the teams medic-nin.

Satisfied that he looked presentable enough and having finally caught his breath, Akira slid the door open and… proceeded to immediately trip over the bottom door's bar, falling flat on his face.

He groaned, raising his head a few inches and praying he'd got the wrong room. He hadn't. Three small children were staring at him in disbelief, clearly shocked that their Jounin sensei was going to be the clumsy, goofy blonde who had just fallen into the room.

"Damn." He muttered, letting his head fall back down where his forehead hit the wooden floor with a thunk.

"Oww." Akira muttered as he heard a soft thud of someone jumping off a desk, and then hurried footsteps before he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a slightly worried voice, "Sensei? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Akira muttered, sitting up and rubbing his forehead, "Oh no, wait, nose, owww" he mumbled, bringing his hands to cup his bloody nose.

The Uchiha boy curiously joined the girl, peering a little worriedly at Akira.

"I assure you that I fight better than I walk." He muttered, grinning.

"Come here," Rin smiled, gently pulling Akira's hands away from his nose before holding her own hands over it. They immediately began to emit a soft green glow and the familiar warmth of a simple healing jutsu washed over his face.

Six years old and already able to do that? He blinked at her as she withdrew her hands, "Hey you're good." He grinned, "You must be Rin, right?" she nodded, "And you're interested in healing?" she nodded again, "Well, now's normally the time you'd start beginners healing classes, but I think you're just a little more advanced than that. We'll see if I can't bribe Tsunade-sama into taking on a part-time subordinate." He said, beaming.

Before the startled Rin had chance to thank him, or even say anything, for him saying he was going to try and persuade Tsunade, the best medical-nin in history, to personally tutor her, Akira's attention had already drifted elsewhere.

"So…Obito and Kakashi, right?" he asked brightly, pointing to the relevant person for each name he said – they weren't hard to identify, the signature silver hair of the Hatake clan and the jet-black of the Uchiha clan made them instantly recognisable. At a nod from them both he clapped his hands together and stood, wiping the remaining blood off his face before deciding to show off a little. Well, he did need to establish himself as something other than a useless klutz.

After glancing at the three of them, all of whom were looking expectantly up at him he went to sit at the far back of the classroom. And 'went' in Akira's terms, involved running, which with his speed took him less than a second, so fast it seemed to his students almost as if he had just disappeared from beside them and reappeared up there.

Which was of course another option he could have taken with the aid of one of his kunai supporting the seal for his infamous Flying Thunder God technique.

By the time they were aware of what had happened, Akira had seated himself comfortably and rocked the chair back on two legs, his hands behind his head.

"Whoa…" Rin breathed, staring.

"COOL!" Obito opted to shriek, bounding up to Akira. "That's AMAZING! Will you teach us to do that?"

"We'll see." Akira smiled, letting his chair fall noisily back onto all four legs. "Now, sit please." He said, gesturing to the desk on the row below his.

Once all three had seated themselves on the desk (apparently not interested in the chairs) Akira started his introduction. "Okay, well, we'll start I guess with some introductions. Tell me a bit about yourselves…likes, dislikes, hobbies, dreams, stuff like that…" he paused, yawning widely before continuing, "And I suppose I'll go first…well, I'm Akira, my likes…hmmm…I like sleeping a lot, and I'm not much of a morning person, I'm warning you guys now, and oh, I love Ramen! As for dislikes...well I don't really think 'waiting for Ramen to cook' counts so bugs I guess, they kinda freak me out…" he shuddered a little, pulling a face, "Also being woken up. I hate that. Please refrain from doing so at all costs… umm I can't say I really have any hobbies…I don't think sleeping counts either, and if I'm not sleeping then someone's stopped me sleeping to send me on a mission so…oh and dreams, well that one's easy, I wanna be Hokage." he stopped, the casual grin he seemed to wear permanently on his face in place again. He crossed his arms on the table in front of him and rested his chin on them, looking expectantly down at them.

After spending a moment or two in complete silence Obito decided that he'd go first.

"I'm Uchiha Obito," he began proudly, "And I really like training with my brother, he's in the police force by the way, and I don't like it when people just brush me off and assume I'm not worth bothering with," his voice turned a little bitter here, and Akira's brow furrowed a little as he recalled something else he had been told about this boy. He lived in the shadow of his older brother. The kid had achieved an incredible status already, at an age where most people were only starting to think about getting into the Academy and he had already graduated, but that was apparently not good enough for his father, the only parent in his life. Obito crinkled his nose, thinking, "I don't really have hobbies I don't think…and as for dreams…well I'd like to be as good as my brother I guess…"

"Hmm-hmm" Akira nodded sleepily, turning his gaze to Kakashi, who looked bored out of his mind, and started to speak in a dull, lazy, monotonous voice, "I'm Hatake Kakashi, my likes and dislikes… I don't really feel like telling you. I have a lot of hobbies and I haven't really got any 'dreams'."

"That's not an introduction!" Obito protested immediately, "We didn't learn a thing about you except your name!"

Kakashi glared, "And why do you care? What possible good is it going to do you, knowing my dislikes and my hobbies?"

Obito didn't seem to take kindly to being spoken to like that by someone a whole two years younger than him. "Hey, you're what, five? I thi-"

"Yes," Kakashi cut him off in answer to his first question, "A whole two years younger and yet I could still beat you in a sparring match."

"No way!"

They had both stood up now and were staring each other down when Rin intervened.

A small argument, brief fight and two quick healing jutsu's later and Rin had finally managed to get through to them that they were on the same team and should at the very least start trying to get along. They had (somewhat grudgingly) calmed and sat back down, only to find Akira – who had been surprisingly quiet throughout the whole scuffle – slumbering on the desk.

The argument was forgotten as the three of them stared, unable to believe that he really truly was a Jounin, let alone a Jounin fit to teach them.

Obito took his eyes off his Sensei - who was snoring loudly and dribbling all over the desk - to exchange looks with the other two.

"I propose we draw on him." He said loudly, staring again.

The other two wordlessly agreed and it wasn't long before Akira was had been given a makeover with a set of brightly coloured pens. Instead of settling for the usual moustache and eye patch and various other randomly scribbled things, they had managed to colour his lips red, which they were pleased to see it looked just like lipstick. This of course gave them the idea to colour his eyelids purple, acting as a bright and badly applied eye shadow, use a hot-pink pen to scribble blush into his cheeks and then finish it off by using the black pen to outline his eyes in 'eyeliner'.

When Akira woke up some three hours later, he found his students gone, and a note left in their place. Wiping his mouth he yawned and picked it up and – noting the three different types of handwriting on various parts of it - scanned it lazily.

_"Assumed we'd be training tomorrow, (if you manage to drag your lazy backside out of bed (More like if you even woke up and went home to bed)) so will be at the training grounds at 10am (That late enough for you? You're clearly very lazy and… well so are we…) love,_" there were several scribbled out phrases here, but the final and only legible one had a descriptive word added to it by all of them, as could been seen from the hand writing "_the team with the clumsiest, laziest, weirdest but-overall-awesomest (We're giving you the benefit of the doubt (No, Obito just decided ((Yeah well I think you're awesome)) Hokage-wannabe Sensei,"_

He smiled, pocketing the note and – something he would regret later – opted to take a leisurely walk home, as oppose to the usual 20-second dash he did.


	2. When your students fight and argue

**Sensei's! What to do when…**

…Your students argue and fight

**Akira's Way**

"You're late! Again! OBITO!"

"Ah, yeah, well, the thing about that is-"

"Stop making up excuses!"

"It's not an excuse! You see, I couldn't find-"

"Liar."

"I didn't even say anything yet!"

"You don't need to say anything, I already know it's a lie."

"Hey, hey, come on guys…" Rin interrupted, raising her palms and placing herself between her two bickering teammates.

They both crossed their arms, Obito pouting and Kakashi glaring.

"How the hell do you ever expect to become a successful Shinobi? Your tardiness is one of the few hideously irritating flaws you have that you can actually change." Kakashi told Obito calmly, completely ignoring Rin.

"…TEME!" Obito screeched, pointing furiously at Kakashi.

"Don't swear Obito." Akira told his student offhandedly, settled comfortably on a near by rock reading through a stack of papers, the pages headed with the title 'Icha Icha Paradise', "And Kakashi please refrain from talking to Obito like that, it's not very nice. Remember, the most important thing to a Shinobi is-"

"I cannot STAND you! Baka!" Obito yelled at his supposed teammate, practically steaming at the ears and cutting Akira off mid-sentence.

"…Teamwork." Akira finished with a sigh.

Oblivious to their sensei, Kakashi quirked a silver brow, "I can honestly say that I don't give a damn whether or not you, the cry-baby runt of the litter, likes me."

As Obito broke the 'No Swearing' rule and started to shout at his silver-haired comrade, Akira was putting the papers away, "Not bad for a rough draft, Jiraiya-sensei," he murmured under his breath, zipping his backpack up.

By this time Rin had already given up on the boys who were both shouting insults at each other, and slumped to sit beside her sensei.

After observing his two arguing students for a moment Akira glanced at his watch, his face instantly brightening. He stood, clapping his hands together, "Screw training, Ichiraku's is open! Coming, Rin?"

Rin blinked up at him, throwing another look at the pair of idiots she called friends before shrugging and standing too, "Why not." She sighed.

"Heeeey, we'll be at Ichiraku's, so, whenever you two are finished…'kay?" he called over to them, letting the 7-year old Rin jump onto his back.

**Jiraiya's Way**

Jiraiya clutched his head, groaning.

He had, officially, the worst hangover in all of history. Well, that was definitely the last time he challenged Tsunade to a drinking contest. It was one of the few bets she would always win against him.

The last thing he had wanted to do was train today. He had attempted to just lie in and sleep it off, but no, his students had just had to come 'round and drag him out.

He could perhaps handle sitting in the shade of a tree trying not to throw up whilst his kids trained quietly on their own. But no, they couldn't be good little students and train quietly either. Instead Akira and Miyako had opted to have a very heated discussion about who would become Hokage first, which had quickly developed into a full-blown argument.

After five minutes or so their whiney voices were really starting to get to Jiraiya, and after ten minutes he finally snapped, stomping over to the pair before grabbing and dangling them upside down, holding onto their ankles.

"Neither of you little shits are going to be Hokage!" he roared, glaring at them each, even though the pair of them still hadn't stopped shooting death glares at one another despite being upside down.

His lecture was stopped before it could even begin however by Akira, "I will SO be Hokage!" he screamed defiantly, struggling to cross his arms in his current position.

"Like hell you will!" Miyako screeched back, her voice at such a pitch that anybody in her immediate vicinity winced.

Jiraiya's voice however easily drowned out both of theirs, "SHUT UP THE PAIR OF YOU!" he bellowed, shaking them about a bit and 'accidentally' banging their heads on the floor in the process.

They were silent for a moment or so, looking away whilst Kenji watched on worriedly.

Unfortunately the second Jiraiya considered putting them down Akira had to ruin it all.

"Fat bitch." He hissed under his breath, earning himself a well aimed-upside down punch in the face.

In seconds they were both screaming at each other once again and attempting to kick and punch the other.

Jiraiya's way to resolve this situation was simple, he – still holding onto their ankles – brought his hands together and thus smacked them into one another before dropping them unceremoniously onto the floor in a heap and marching off to the nearest bar.

**Kakashi's Way**

The life of Jounin Sensei was not as easy as any Sensei had first thought, and as they would all tell you.

It was like being given three lumps of clay and being told to mould them into perfect masterpieces. Each child had reacted differently to the training they had received at the academy and each sensei had different requirements for them as to be able to work successfully with them as a team.

Every Jounin had his own view of a correct Sensei, different ways of how to deal with them and differing ideas of what sort of a relationship should be formed with them.

Yuuhi Kurenai liked to think that her students thought of her as something like a sexy big sister, someone they could come to for anything whenever they needed her, and she would deal with them firmly but gently, explaining things calmly and never raising her voice. This suited them fine, she was the kind soul Hinata really needed and the voice of reason to Kiba and Shino.

Sarutobi Asuma wasn't really sure what the hell his kids thought of him, all he knew is that for some reason he had become rather attached to them. And as far as handling them went…well, he was gruff and not particularly inclined to be calm or gentle, but then again that was probably okay for them, Ino needed to be reminded that she was not in charge and have someone wipe the cocky smirk from her face, and Chouji and Shikamaru really just needed to be forced to damn listen and try harder.

Mite Gai pictured himself as a father to his students and he dealt with them the way he dealt with everyone else, loudly and enthusiastically, never failing to egg them on and praise them endlessly. To Lee he was the perfect Sensei who would always be there to guide him. As for Tenten and Neji, he was optimistic no matter what, and that's what they really needed to rely on, knowing that he'll always be the one to coax a smile out of them when they're blue or able to spark hope within them in the darkest times.

Hatake Kakashi has never really bothered to think about how his students view him, just a Sensei he supposes, and he'd like to think he's a good one, but he doubts it. He's tried to base himself on his former Sensei to be the rock and the reliable, caring figure the two boys so desperately need, but he thinks he's failed at all that too. What he doesn't know is just how much it means to Naruto that he tries, and how much happier it makes him feel to know somebody really does care, he doesn't know that although Sasuke never shows him anything but indifference, he's showing the Uchiha heir what's its like to be part of a family again, because that's how Sasuke's starting to feel about his team, even though he never manages to express it to them. He doesn't know that Sakura thinks he's like the father she's never had, because he's the only strong male influence she's ever had in her life and it's nice to have someone strong and protective looking out for her, and she really craves that feeling, until he can teach her to be strong and brave enough herself, and even then she knows he's not going to look out for her any less.

But despite the fact that he's managed to become to Sensei he wanted to be to them – even though he doesn't know it yet – there's still the fact that he really has no idea how to handle them. Which is why he's sitting upon a rooftop of the main street, absently reading his Icha Icha Paradise book whilst Naruto and Sasuke beat the hell out of each other with Sakura screeching at them to stop over in training ground 5.

**Sarutobi's Way**

Sarutobi liked to think he was a good sensei, and perhaps he was good at training them…but not so much at handling them. Well, it wasn't exactly that he didn't know how to deal with them, it was just that he methods were somewhat…questionable.

He noted quickly that all of his students were very opinionated and prone to fight – a lot. For all their idea's and views, not one of them shared the same opinion with another, which lead to approximately four or five major fights a day, and that – he had found – was just a little too much to deal with, and so he soon came up with a solution to distract the 15 year olds from the issue.

"Are you trying to get us killed you flat-chested bitch!?" Jiraiya yelled, waving his arms about and glaring down at his blonde teammate.

"Oh my stealthy approach to this is going to get as killed, whereas as your "lets run in waving our shuriken and kunai about like mad people" theory isn't?!"

"I never said that! What –"

"Well that's what it bloody well sounded like to me!"

"Jiraiya your idea is probably the stupidest idea you've ever voiced – which believe me is quite an achievement-"

"Thank you, Orochimaru!" Tsunade exclaimed, sticking her tongue out at Jiraiya.

"Tsunade's however is only slightly less idiotic."

"WHAT?!"

"HAH!"

"Shut up you fucking pervert!"

"Don't swear Tsunade." Sarutobi reprimanded his most foulmouthed student lightly,

"Fuck you!"

Well, _one_ of his most foulmouthed students, he sighed, rummaging through his backpack and otherwise completely ignoring them – he had expected this when he asked them to come up with a plan of action for the mission.

They had just started to use physical violence to prove their (all rather stupid in Sarutobi's opinion) points when he found what he was looking for.

"Oi," he said loudly in a demanding tone, sidling over to them. They stopped immediately, Orochimaru frozen in the process of yanking Tsunade hair out, Tsunade leaning most of her weight back on Orochimaru whilst her feet were otherwise occupied with attempting to kick Jiraiya who was currently biting her ankle.

For child prodigies and successful Shinobi they never seemed above a good old fashioned cat.

"Here," Sarutobi trust an item each towards them, "Now shut the hell up and sit down."

The three stared for a moment, before Jiraiya removed his teeth from Tsunade's leg, spat to the side and – muttering "Taste's like fucking dog" – snatched the…rather graphic and questionable magazine from his sensei's hands.

Disentangling Orochimaru's hands from her hair Tsunade grudgingly accepted the bottle of sake offered to her, punching Jiraiya painfully in the arm as she passed.

Orochimaru glared, apparently not as easily bribed.

"Come on," Sarutobi grinned, holding the remaining item out and clicking his tongue like one would if they were trying to get a dog or cat to come to them.

Orochimaru raised his eyebrows whilst Sarutobi continued to click his tongue, smirking and ignoring the perverted giggles of Jiraiya and disgusted tuts from Tsunade in between gulps of sake.

Finally Orochimaru sighed in defeat and stepped forwards to snatch the lollipop out of his sensei's hands.


	3. when the night of a mission comes

**Sensei's! What to do when…**

…The night of a mission comes

**Sarutobi's Way**

"Sensei," Orochimaru started with a sigh from his place perched on the edge of the bathtub, his chin resting in his hand.

"Hmm?" Sarutobi replied, looking up from where he was sat with his back against the radiator.

"Just so you know, this is not my idea of fun, believe it or not. Next time you want us to do something 'fun' together, then I'd like to propose monopoly. Or some other game where people will get easily wound up and start to argue and therefore give me just cause to hurt them. "

"I second that. And I apologise profusely." Sarutobi sighed wearily, yawning widely.

"No more sake?"

"Definitely no more sake." Sarutobi agreed, watching as Orochimaru lazily began to plait small sections of the large clump of Jiraiya's hair he was holding back, as his white haired friend proceeded to continue throwing up noisily into the bath tub, the toilet already having the contents of Tsunade's stomach being currently emptied into it.

Sarutobi was asking Tsunade – who had just stopped throwing up and was now sat with her forehead pressed to the edge of the toilet seat – if she was okay, which was doubtful, considering they'd been sat here for the past hour – when Orochimaru cut off any reply the drunken blonde might have felt like making.

"Right, that'll do," he muttered, hopping off the edge of the bath and dusting his hands. He stepped back, observing his replacement to ensure it would do just as good a job of holding back Jiraiya's hair as he could, before making his way to the door, apparently satisfied with the shower cap he had contained his teammates thick mass of wild locks in.

"Night sensei!" he called cheerfully, leaving a disgruntled Sarutobi to sweep Tsunade's hair back from her face as she lunged back over the toilet retching.

**Jiraiya's Way**

Intoxicated, girlishly giggling and stumbling, Jiraiya made his way up the stairs of the inn he and his team was staying at, unsuccessfully trying to remember what room number he was looking for.

Three wrong tries and a lot of screaming and shouting later, found Jiraiya pretty sure that 26 was their room, and also a lot happier, having walked in on a woman changing.

Finally arriving at the correct room (Or what he thought was the right room) he fumbled clumsily with his key for a moment before he got the door unlocked and – was immediately smacked in the face with a pillow.

Whilst he took a moment to take in the scene before him, his students did not stop their antics, which involved running screaming around the room, bouncing about on the beds and trying to hit each other with pillows. So basically, a pillow fight, but it wasn't just a pillow fight, it was a Shinobi style pillow fight, which was why several pillows were scattered about the floor supporting long slash marks and the odd shuriken stuck in them. And of course, slashed pillows meant feathers - lots and lots of feathers.

So many feathers in fact, it looked like 2 chickens and a duck had exploded in the room. Another thing a Shinobi style pillow fight involved it seemed, was using kunai to anchor a person to the wall, presumably beat them with pillows, then leave them screaming to be freed whilst the other two used a mixture of chains, kunai and their sensei's scrolls to make a swing on the ceiling.

There were many things Jiraiya did not take well, and this was one of them.

There were several ways he could handle this situation, he could lecture them all for twenty minutes and make them clean up, let them continue and go downstairs to have a soak in the communal baths, re-trace his steps back to the bar he had been in etc. etc.

Or…

"You know what the good thing about sake is?" Jiraiya said thoughtfully, swinging idly back and forth on the makeshift swing his students had made.

"The bottles are pretty?" Miyako slurred a little from her position clinging onto the samurai sword sheath she had rigged up between the swings chains, half a foot from the ceiling where she was now hung upside down.

"No…but now that you mention…anyway," he muttered, glancing up at Miyako and shifting his position slightly, hauling the 10-year-old Kenji back onto his lap from where the sleeping boy was falling off. A long pause followed, Jiraiya having completely forgotten what he had been talking about, "Hmm…. you know when I was just a little…no a few years older than you my Sensei let me, Tsunade and Orochimaru have sake on a mission…" he stopped, snickering and taking another swing from the bottle.

"Did 'ya make out with Tsunade?" Akira asked grinning, poking his head out of his sensei's long, thick hair that he had somehow managed to crawl into and was now doing god knows what in it. Not that Jiraiya minded, he had too much of the stuff to really feel the brat clinging to it, and if the blonde moron wanted to make a nest in there or whatever then that was fine with him.

"I wish!" He laughed, failing to note that Akira was already showing signs of perversion; something he would later deny had ever been initiated by him. Not that anyone would ever believe him; you only had to look at the pairs that followed. (1) "Anyways, I don't really remember what happened and I think it's better that way, Orochimaru didn't really seem best pleased with me in the morning…although Sarutobi-sensei was making him carry me…that's why sake on a mission isn't a good idea…plus I think I then threw up on his shoulder too…anyway, that's why you two aren't allowed anymore."

Unfortunately for him, the two had already managed to down a bottle between them, which led to a bewildered Kenji spending half the night looking after his two vomiting friends and his unconscious sensei.

Needless to say, Sarutobi was not best pleased when they handed their mission in 3 days late due to 'Unforeseeable circumstances', or as young Sannin's former sensei preferred to put it: "You got them pissed didn't you?"

**Akira's Way**

When Rin returned from the communal baths downstairs, she was a little surprised to find the rest of her team had already returned from there's, but what she was even more surprised by what they appeared to be doing.

From what it looked like…well, if she didn't know better she'd say they were –

"We are NOT building a pillow fort." Her sensei immediately defended himself before she could even speak as he stuck his up over the wall of the pillow fort. Because yes, it would appear they were building a pillow fort.

"Nope not at all," Obito backed him up, his head appearing too.

Rin raised an eyebrow, "Of course you're not."

"Yeah…pass that sheet from over on the other bed please?" Akira asked, grinning and sheepishly scratching the back of his head.

Ditching her bathing things on the floor – she was sharing the room with Obito and her Sensei, it wasn't like it was very tidy –Rin pulled the sheets from the remaining double bed and tossed them into the 'fort' ignoring the cries of 'careful!'.

Both heads disappeared for a moment before Obito's popped back up, "Wanna join?" he called, grinning.

Giggling 8-year-old Rin crawled through the hole Obito had created in the wall, a little shocked to find Kakashi sat placidly in the middle of the bed reading a bright orange book whilst Akira and Obito crawled about on their hands and knees around him, using the sheet Rin had given them to start constructing a roof.

"They built it around me." Kakashi told her before she could even ask, not even bothering to look up as he flipped the page of his book.

After the pillow fort had been built to Akira and Obito's liking, Akira confiscated Kakashi's book and dragged the three of them to sit around him, Rin and Obito willingly cuddled up to him, pulling the covers over the four of them as they snuggled down, Kakashi did so a little grudgingly, but in the end happily settled down with them, the three of them slowly drifting off to sleep as they listened to their Sensei's tales of past missions and the various amusing skirmishes he and Jiraiya had managed to get into in the past.

The three finally all fell asleep, Kakashi nestled against his right side and Obito at his left with Rin on the right lying half on him and half on Kakashi. He smiled proudly down at them, squeezing the three of them closer together in a hug, his arms wrapped around Obito and Kakashi's shoulders.

"Night-night my bratty little moronic minions. Let us pray to Kami that we wake up before the maid comes in and finds us asleep in a pillow fort, amen."

**Kakashi's Way**

"PILLOW FORT!" Naruto shrieked, slinging his bag into the corner of the room and launching himself onto the nearest bed.

Sakura tutted and threw Naruto an 'Are you seriously that immature?' look, ignoring her inner self who immediately screamed "HELL YES WE WANT A PILLOW FORT!"

Kakashi smiled behind his mask, his own bag joining Naruto's across the other side of the room, "Need a hand?" he chuckled, running a hand through his silver tresses.

Sasuke stared at his chuckling sensei in a mixture of disbelieve and disagreement, not so sure what he found so funny, but then again Kakashi had never been particularly normal, "I'm…going to pretend you didn't just say that." He muttered, deciding that doing just that would probably be best for his health. "If you two build a pillow fort I'm sleeping outside."

"Yeah don't be so immature." Sakura agreed automatically with Sasuke, once again blocking out her inner self who was still screaming in favour of the pillow fort.

"Well then what the hell are we supposed to do?" Naruto huffed, ceasing bouncing on his bed.

"Um, sleep?" Sakura suggested, quirking a brow.

"Ne, I don't wanna sleep!"

"Well we have to be up in 6 hours, so, bedtime kiddies." Kakashi called, wandering over to the bed at the far side of the room - and not being the tidiest person – leaving a trail of various clothing and items behind him.

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

"Okay I can't sleep." Naruto declared, sitting up and switching the bedside lamp on.

Sasuke immediately protested and threw several insults and the odd kunai his way, but for once Sakura only half-heartedly agreed, for once more inclined to openly side with Naruto.

Kakashi hadn't bothered to sit up, hoping that if he continued to pretend to sleep they'd just shut up and settle down themselves.

No such luck. Now he knew why his sensei always referred to the parts of their missions when they weren't travelling nor at their destination as 'babysitting'.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whined in a high-pitched voice worthy of Sakura.

He ignored it, grunting and shifting his position slightly, praying he sounded as if he were sleeping.

"Kakashi-senseiiiii,"

He'd stop it eventually.

"Kaka-senseiiiii,"

Or at least, in theory he would.

"Kakaaaaaaaa-"

"Stoppit." Kakashi snapped, sighing and sitting up, just adjusting his mask, which had slipped a little down his face.

"Kaka-sensei we can't sleep." Sakura pointlessly informed him.

Kakashi observed them lazily with his good eye, "What do you want, a story?" he asked rhetorically, although he should have known better because before he could say 'Jinchuuriki' Naruto had bounded his way over to his bed and was sat rocking back and forth at the bottom of it.

"Okay!"

Kakashi sighed again, bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, "When one of you has time do you think you could teach him about sarcasm?"

Sakura smiled and Sasuke glared, laying back down with his back to them.

"Naruto I am not reading you a story."

"Ne, come on sensei! Tell us 'bout your old team or something, did they stick you with an idiot and a cute girl too?" he whispered loudly, smirking.

For a fraction of a second Kakashi froze, taken aback by the question, then he laughed and scratched the back of his head a little nervously, "Pretty much," he chuckled, smiling fondly. Obito of course he had always thought of as a hyperactive idiot, and then there was Rin, who could definitely have been described as cute, even though she had been like a sister to Kakashi.

Even Sasuke opened his eyes at this, and Sakura clambered out of bed and crept across to join Naruto at the foot of the bed. It was so rare for Kakashi to ever willingly divulge any small piece of information about his past to them that they were all ears after hearing just those two words. They had seen the picture of his old team back in his apartment, and the knew, or were pretty sure, that the Yondaime had been his sensei, and that his teammates consisted of a redhead as bright as a sunny day and a boy Kakashi had clearly had some sort of rivalry with, judging how similar the picture was to their own, in terms of both positions and looks.

Kakashi picked up immediately on their sudden attention, and chuckled nervously again. Maybe it was time he shared just a little bit with them, he thought, rooting around for something insignificant but suitable to tell them, something that would capture all of his comrades and show just how amazing they truly were. Or else something that showed them for the loveable idiots the trio had been.

For some reason, although he supposed it was to do with Naruto's suggestion of a pillow fort, one particular memory came to mind…

_(Flashback)_

_"PILLOW FORT!" Obito shrieked, launching himself onto one of the two double beds in the room, the one Kakashi just happened to be sat on – attempting unsuccessfully to read his book in peace._

_He clicked his tongue disapprovingly, swatting at Obito with the book as the young Uchiha leapt around him._

_"Aww come on Kaka-chan!" he thrilled in a taunting voice, used the hated nickname Kakashi's team call him whenever he's in a huff – which surprisingly never brightened his mood._

_"Okay first we need a lot of pillows, so-"_

_"Waaaaaay ahead of you!" Akira interrupted from the door, and Kakashi glanced up to find his sensei and three kage bunshins stumbling clumsily into the room, himself and each of his clones clutching at armfuls of pillows._

_"You've got to be kidding." Kakashi sighed, as Obito yelled "AWESOME!" loudly behind him, throwing himself off the bed to help out with the pillows._

_"Where'd you get them all from?" he asked, helping his sensei to pile the pillows on Kakashi's bed, much to his teammates disapproval._

_"Unattended linen closet." Akira grinned; he and Obito crawling into the beds centre and started to erect the pillow walls on the beds edges._

_Kakashi smacked the book to his forehead three times before deciding that maybe it would be better just to ignore them and try to read_.

* * *

A/N: (1) Hehee, I think perversion is passed down from sensei to one unlucky student xD there's a definite pattern, you can't deny!

Sarutobi and Jiraiya (although he was probably already a perv in the beginning, his sensei most likely just encouraged him)

Jiraiya and Yondaime (As he's not really called Akira which is a shame 'cause it's a pretty name, but I expect he was a bit on the perverted side as well)

Yondaime and Kakashi (Very clearly addicted to porn novels)

Kakashi/Jiraiya and Naruto because you know he is so going to be a raging perv!


End file.
